After Brantley’s blood work came back from the allergy testing and showed us EVERYthing she was allergic to, I was bound and determined to fight through it and continue to breastfeed her while avoiding all of those foods.
Lately, I’ve realized I’m starving and unhappy. I knew it was time for me to start weaning her.
I had the best of intentions. I did great for a long time but quickly realized the best things for me to eat were meat and fresh vegetables. That’s a great diet for everyone to be on and I lost a lot of weight , but I found myself unprepared a lot and standing in my kitchen, starving, without recently bought fresh vegetables and meat.
I started to get really unhappy and when I looked at Brantley’s face, and skin overall, there really wasn’t much improvement. It just seemed like I was doing all of this for nothing.
Moving to Formula
My pediatrician had given me two cans of Enfamil Nutramigen (formula for babies with an allergy to cow’s milk) for us to use and I reluctantly pulled those down from the cupboard. I tried to give Brantley a small bottle of it and she was. not. having. it! She screamed and cried, arched her back, turned her head, and blocked the bottle with her tongue. She had absolutely no interest!
I tried it, myself, and could not believe how disgusting it was. No wonder she didn’t want anything to do with it.
I asked my Facebook friends if they’d had any experience with Nutramigen, hoping they could tell me how they got their child to take it, and while I LOT of responses, most of them were all about the outrageous cost, which they were right about. Oh my gosh. $23 for a can. Whoa.
Goat’s Milk Formula
I took a little detour when my friend, Caleb, reminded me about goat’s milk. I actually made a goat’s milk formula for Langston when I had to stop breastfeeding him at 9 months. He loved it!
I tried to whip up a batch for Brantley to try.
She hated it. I couldn’t even get 1/2 of an ounce down her. Then, 5 minutes later, she started throwing up. We’re not talking spit up here. We’re talking stomach heaving, throwing up in the sink several times. Ok, so that wasn’t a great idea after all.
Back to the Nutramigen.
We had a serious battle of the wills and I was determined to win this one, although it wasn’t without tears shed from both of us.
Brantley loves nursing. Truthfully, I love breastfeeding, too.
But, I knew I wasn’t doing her any favors by making myself unhappy, just so we could continue breastfeeding.
If weaning was going to happen, it was going to happen now.
A Cry For Help
I picked up the phone and called my mom and she happily agreed to take her away for a night and try to give her the bottle with Nutramigen.
I armed her with a brand new tommee tippee bottle that came so highly recommended by my friends. Although she had a few hiccups along the way, and Brantley put up the same fight for her that she did for me, my mom ended up calling me to ask if Brantley could stay an extra night because they were doing so great together!
She finally got hungry enough and gave in, I guess.
After an extra night together, the biggest difference I could see was in her skin. There was already a noticeable difference.
The red splotchy spots were gone.
Why the baby weaning blues?
I don’t really want to quit breastfeeding. Part of me is eaten up with guilt because I could continue eating the way I have been, even though it’s made me unhappy.
I also hate that this is so final. I’ll never have that nursing relationship with a baby of mine, again. I think that’s the reason I keep pumping. I can’t completely let it go.
Each day will get better but I’m struggling with the finality of it all.