After Brantley’s blood work came back from the allergy testing and showed us EVERYthing she was allergic to, I was bound and determined to fight through it and continue to breastfeed her while avoiding all of those foods.
Lately, I’ve realized I’m starving and unhappy. I knew it was time for me to start weaning her.
I had the best of intentions. I did great for a long time but quickly realized the best things for me to eat were meat and fresh vegetables. That’s a great diet for everyone to be on and I lost a lot of weight 
, but I found myself unprepared a lot and standing in my kitchen, starving, without recently bought fresh vegetables and meat.
I started to get really unhappy and when I looked at Brantley’s face, and skin overall, there really wasn’t much improvement. It just seemed like I was doing all of this for nothing.
Moving to Formula
My pediatrician had given me two cans of Enfamil Nutramigen (formula for babies with an allergy to cow’s milk) for us to use and I reluctantly pulled those down from the cupboard. I tried to give Brantley a small bottle of it and she was. not. having. it! She screamed and cried, arched her back, turned her head, and blocked the bottle with her tongue. She had absolutely no interest!
I tried it, myself, and could not believe how disgusting it was. No wonder she didn’t want anything to do with it.
I asked my Facebook friends if they’d had any experience with Nutramigen, hoping they could tell me how they got their child to take it, and while I LOT of responses, most of them were all about the outrageous cost, which they were right about. Oh my gosh. $23 for a can. Whoa.
Goat’s Milk Formula
I took a little detour when my friend, Caleb, reminded me about goat’s milk. I actually made a goat’s milk formula for Langston when I had to stop breastfeeding him at 9 months. He loved it!
I tried to whip up a batch for Brantley to try.
She hated it. I couldn’t even get 1/2 of an ounce down her. Then, 5 minutes later, she started throwing up. We’re not talking spit up here. We’re talking stomach heaving, throwing up in the sink several times. Ok, so that wasn’t a great idea after all.
Back to the Nutramigen.
I Protested
We had a serious battle of the wills and I was determined to win this one, although it wasn’t without tears shed from both of us.
Brantley loves nursing. Truthfully, I love breastfeeding, too.
But, I knew I wasn’t doing her any favors by making myself unhappy, just so we could continue breastfeeding.
If weaning was going to happen, it was going to happen now.
A Cry For Help
I picked up the phone and called my mom and she happily agreed to take her away for a night and try to give her the bottle with Nutramigen.
I armed her with a brand new tommee tippee bottle that came so highly recommended by my friends. Although she had a few hiccups along the way, and Brantley put up the same fight for her that she did for me, my mom ended up calling me to ask if Brantley could stay an extra night because they were doing so great together!
She finally got hungry enough and gave in, I guess.
After an extra night together, the biggest difference I could see was in her skin. There was already a noticeable difference.
The red splotchy spots were gone.
Why the baby weaning blues?
I don’t really want to quit breastfeeding. Part of me is eaten up with guilt because I could continue eating the way I have been, even though it’s made me unhappy.
I also hate that this is so final. I’ll never have that nursing relationship with a baby of mine, again. I think that’s the reason I keep pumping. I can’t completely let it go.
Each day will get better but I’m struggling with the finality of it all.
Such a hard decision! It’s such an emotional bond, I know how hard it is to give up. But I’m so happy that you’ll be happier and that Brantley’s skin is already looking better!
Quick question-did you change some blog settings for how your posts show up in Reader? I stopped being able to see the whole post, and now it stopped having the ‘read more’ link. I have to click on the title to be able to see the post. I read everything through my reader so I was just curious
Thanks for your sweet comment, Jenna! And thanks for letting me know about that issue.
I’ve got my designer checking in to it. I know that’s probably annoying when you’re reading from a reader.
It is so hard to give up nursing, when you know it’s going to be your last time. But, if her skin is already looking better, you know you are doing the right thing. I had Gestational Diabetes with my last 2 pregnancies. When you have to watch what you are eating so closely, it become more like a chore. I don’t think people realize how hard it can be. Sounds like you are doing what’s best for the both of you. =)
Tracy´s last [type] ..A Day In The Life of A Mama of 4
Yes, it’s definitely like a chore when you have to be so careful!
If you can’t use the milk you pump for her to eat, you can use it in her bath. That might help her skin as well.
That’s a great idea! I’ve never heard of that! I’m going to look in to it.
Twitter: carrieelleblog
says:
I’m sorry, Mama. That’s tough. I’m weaning Claire and she’s 19 months and part of me is like, “YAY FINALLY ALMOST DONE NURSING,” and part of me is sad, too. So I totally get it.
PS – your site looks great!
Carrie´s last [type] ..Rain, Rain, Rain
Thanks Carrie! I’m glad you understand my feelings.
Twitter: Erinlauray
says:
Oh friend, I am both so sorry and so happy for you. I was going to comment when I saw that pic of B on Instagram that her skin looked beautiful. Big hugs to you for doing what you need to do for both B and yourself, but also big hugs for this hard transition for your heart. xoxo
Thanks for your sweet comment. I could use a hug.
Twitter: _conscientious
says:
I have been there, having to put both mine on formula at 6 & 8 months, respectively.
2 things: 1) guilt and shame are from the devil! 2) a site that really helped me was Fearless Formula Feeder‘s Friday testimonials. She has stories from women who have had to give up breastfeeding for a variety of reasons and she affirms them in their choice. She is really a fighter for those of us who have to use formula amongst so much pressure to breastfeed exclusively.
Thanks Jenny! I’m going to look in to that! Sounds awesome!
Twitter: SweetBellaRoos
says:
Ah, I’m so sorry. It is such a hard decision, and I totally get the mom guilt. I BF Isabella for a year, and then had to give it up with Sophia after two weeks. She wasn’t gaining weight, I had staph, she had thrush, we had major prob latching on and it got to the point I would just sob the entire time she was nursing and then she would spit up blood after. I know it was the right thing for us to stop, but I felt like such a failure, especially when Isabella and I had zero problems. It will get better and now I don’t feel the guilt anymore, Sophia is doing amazing. Happy moms make happy babies, it will get easier!
Emily @ Sweet Bella Roos´s last [type] ..Pin It Thursday
Soooo true! Happy moms really DO make happy babies! It DOES make it so much harder when it was easy peasy with my other two babies. :/
Awww….I can really hear your hurt, but you are doing a great job and it sounds like the story has a happy ending.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Facing (and Conquering) First Time Skier Fears