I have 10 weeks to go in this pregnancy.
When I was pregnant the first time, I was counting down every day. If you asked me how far along I was, I could tell you exactly how many weeks and days into the pregnancy I was and how many days I had left.
Now that I’m in to my third pregnancy with a 2 year old and 18 month old to chase after, I have to really think about how far along I am, when asked.
To be honest, knowing I have 10 weeks left makes me happy, although I know each week will get harder, physically.
The truth is, I’m scared to death to add a newborn to this mix we have right now.
I’m afraid I’m going to struggle, a lot. Everyday.
I’m afraid I’ll never feel confident in having three small children who rely on me.
I’m afraid we will never leave the house because it’s just too hard.
I’m afraid I’ll never be able to have “me time” because I feel guilty leaving them and feel guilty putting three little ones in someone else’s care.
I’m afraid I will fail them, alot.
I’m afraid the boys are going to take full advantage of the fact that I have another baby to take care of and they have free reign to be difficult. They are right in the stage of testing the limits and knowing what they aren’t supposed to do, but yet think doing it is so funny.
It’s true that I prayed for this little girl to be a part of our family one day. I’m so thankful she’s on her way and I feel immensely blessed to have this gift. CRAZY blessed!
One day I will look back on our this season of our life and laugh, but right now, I’m scared.
I’m scared of the sleepless nights.
I’m scared of turning in to someone I don’t want to be, consumed by stress, and unable to be the wife, mom, and step-mom I want to be.
It’s something I pray about daily. And, being the people pleaser I am, it almost brings me to tears when I think about all I can’t do, don’t do well enough, or who I disappoint.
I know there are women who have it harder, with more kids, and I’m not the first mom to have three little ones close in age.
I can do it and I will do it {with lots of prayer}, but some days I have to be honest about my feelings.
Source: indulgy.com via Jamie on Pinterest
I really try to be a happy and positive person. I’m so excited to wrap my arms around our sweet baby girl. But it isn’t always about excitement. I’m scared, too.
Just being honest.
Thanks for your honesty! It will be hard and amazing all at the same time I am sure. You will do great!
Jennifer Thomas´s last [type] ..Seaside 2012!
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Jennifer. Hard and amazing is right.
Are you kidding? Of course you’re scared! I only have one 2 year old and I’m due in 17 weeks and I’m terrified! Waking up at night in panic mode…freaking out about money…you’re not alone. It’s scary!
Alli´s last [type] ..7 Questions
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
So glad to know I’m not the only one freaking out on occasion. Scary is right. We can do it, though.
Just know there are friends who can’t wait to help a sister out
Katie Dotson´s last [type] ..{crazy} weekend wrap-up
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Katie! I know I can always count on y’all! Love that.
Jamie -
If you didn’t fear at all, I would fear for you. This just shows that you are a good mom, not someone who is blissfully unaware of the challenges that lie ahead. Know for every hard moment, there will be 100 “oh-so-worth-it” moments. You prayed for this precious bundle and God wouldn’t give you anything that you couldn’t handle..so remember that! Everyday won’t be easy (and you know that), but it will be worth it. Take it one day at a time, and too soon you’ll realize that those days have turned into months and you are really doing it!
“If you think my hands are full, you should see my ♥”
Lot’s of love…You GOT this!!!
Sarah´s last [type] ..2 Months Old
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Sarah! If anyone could understand, I know you can. Your comment pretty much brought a tear to my eye.
Fear is a good emotion. It means you care and that this baby and your family dynamic are important to you!
Take it one day at a time! Don’t let the fear freeze you!
Life As Wife´s last [type] ..It’s Funny, This Marriage Thing
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Sam! You’re right. I DO care about this baby {so much} and my family dynamic is SUPER important to me.
Jamie, thank you so much for your honesty. I struggle with fear too. As a single mom of an amazing 11 year old boy I am in over my head most days. I fear that I’m not enough, that I’m not equiped to be his mother, I’m going to skewed him up, that I’m not a Christlike example, it goes on and on. However I am reminded sometimes daily that He will never lead me to a place He won’t go with me. And me being in over my head keeps me reliant on Him. Deuteronomy 31:6
Thanks for helping me remember where our strength comes from. Can’t wait to meet your daughter!
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Being a single mom is not a something I envy. I know that is a tough job every. single. day. But, you are doing a great job!
Thanks for the reminder that He will never lead me to a place where He will not go with me. Love that!
Twitter: BackwardsLife
says:
I felt the same going from one to two. I hope you feel at ease more often than not. Three terrifies me, but I don’t think we’ll go there. I know you’ll be amazing because you’re so thoughtful now!
Amber @ Backwards Life´s last [type] ..Six Word Story
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Amber for your sweet comment! Just the thought of such a drastic change to the family is scary for anyone, I think!
Twitter: momsfromscratch
says:
Fear. I’m familiar with that emotion. And I wish I could just give you a hug and tell you everything will be alright. And it will. I watched my sister go through what you are going through (3 kids in 4 years) and it was difficult, especially those first few years. But now that her kids are older, it is actually easier in many ways than having kids more spaced out (like I did!) They are each other’s playmates and best friends. Sure, they fight. But they truly enjoy being with each other.
I don’t know you, but I hear your heart through this post. You are a good mommy. God will give you what you need each moment, each day to confront the exhaustion and challenges this season in your life will bring. He has a way of enabling us to do things we can’t do on our own. I hope you have a good support system and are willing to ask for help. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you smart!
Visiting from SITS …
Mothering From Scratch´s last [type] ..Mothering Like A Rock Star
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks for your sweet and encouraging comment. I do have a great support system, but asking for help is definitely something I struggle with. I always worry I’m inconveniencing someone or taking advantage. I try way to hard to do things myself just to avoid that. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to ask.
“He has a way of enabling us to do things we can’t do on our own.” You are so right. LOVE that!
Twitter: GirlMeetGlobe
says:
Hi! Stopping by from SITS! I can completely understand your fear and I’ll say a prayer for you!! I’m a mom of 3 that are 14 months apart. We adopted a daughter that was 5 months old and 8 months later had twins. Those early days were crazy!
Mine are now in kindergarden and first grade and it’s getting easier all the time!!
Praying you feel the Lord’s strength!!
Tina @ Girl Meets Globe´s last [type] ..Washed by the Water
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
I’d say you definitely understand my fears! Wow, twins and a daughter 14 months older! Oh my! So glad to hear it’s getting easier for you all of the time!
What a strong and brave post! Best wishes!
Stopping by from SITS.
Amy´s last [type] ..Blueberry {Gin} Gimlet
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks Amy! So glad you stopped by!
Twitter: MsWhit62
says:
I agree with momsfromscratch, God will never give us more than we can handle. A wonderful support system and blogging when you find the time
will be a stress reliever for you. Keep a sense of humor about everything, because you’ll need it. Great post, stopping by from SITS.
Whitney´s last [type] ..Comment on Motivation and a Push by Whitney
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Yes, a sense of humor is crucial! And, I’ll be relying on Him a LOT!
Twitter: anotherjenb
says:
I remember being more scared the second time around than the first. I think it’s because I had already gone through it, so I knew what was coming. I think it’s great that you are writing about your fear. Let it out. Everyone gets scared. They just don’t admit it. I’m sure you’ll be great!
another jennifer´s last [type] ..Philanthropy Friday: Empowering Generosity
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks! I’m so glad you stopped by! I hate that it’s not just scary, but it’s scary to let it all out. Thankfully it’s ok to do that in the blog world.
Twitter: krrobi
says:
–You must be honest w/ your feelings! That’s what blogs are for….
& Other women will understand you completley,
as they have these feelings, too.
Blessing sent from Minnesota. Xx
My Inner Chick´s last [type] ..21 Things I Learned After Your Murder
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Thanks! I’m so glad you stopped by!
Twitter: ugojoloms
says:
I am soo excited for you! I havve 3 boys and I’m dreaming of having a girl. It is okay to get scared but don’t stay scared, God will give you grace to handle this blessing.
Visiting from SITS
Blessings!
Twitter: Jmroubinek
says:
Those boys are so fun!! I sure do love having mine. I’m hoping that writing about my fears will keep me from staying scared. I know He will give me all of the strength I need.
So glad you stopped by!
Congrats on the baby. Any pregnancy without some anxiety is a strange pregnancy, if you ask me. Thanks for visiting me during the SITS Saturday Sharefest. I’m loving your blog!
Anitra´s last [type] ..What Do You Blog About?
Twitter: TeresaThinks
says:
Same here! I am scared, but then I remind myself that I felt the same way when expecting #2 and it worked out just fine, one day at a time…
Teresa´s last [type] ..29 week pregnancy update {questionaire} and his name revealed