At least once a day, I get caught staring at Brantley, whether she’s asleep or awake. I get carried away in thoughts about her. I start to think about how beautiful she is and how I’m often so surprised she has such blue eyes. I would just LOVE for her skin to clear up since it’s a big distraction from those beautiful blue eyes.
Sometimes, I get caught up in thinking about how different I am as a mom, whether it be compared to other moms, or just me now, compared to the mom I was with Riverson or Langston as babies.
I Co-Sleep
I did this with the boys, but not to this extent. Brantley has probably slept one entire night in her own bed and that night, she slept much worse than she does any other night. When she sleeps worse, so do I. My quick fix was to put her back in bed with me.
I love snuggling with her and she loves having me close. I’m 32 years old {gosh, I really hated writing that} and still remember very distinctly the times I would crawl in bed with my own mom, when I was a kid.
I feel guilty about this because the majority of my friends don’t co-sleep. A friend on Facebook recently posted a picture of her daughter, who is younger than Brantley, and was excited about the fact that her daughter had just spent the night in her very own room. I was excited for that mom because she was excited, but I thought, “Why don’t I have that desire? Why don’t I want Brantley in her own room?”
I guess it’s just one of the things that makes us moms so very different.
I Rock Her to Sleep
Yes, I do this, every night. When it doesn’t work for me and she won’t fall asleep, or I’m just tired, I make Jeff do it.
No idea why I can’t stand the thought of just letting her cry. I mean, I did it with the boys.
I Hold Her a LOT
And I wonder why I can’t get anything done during the day. Some days I hold her because I want to and other days it’s because she wants me to.
I tell myself a lot, “She will only be this little for so long and then she will be off playing with her brothers.” I only get her all to myself for such a short time. I just want to cherish it.
So cherish it I will, and “tough love” I won’t.
Maybe things will change in a few weeks…..
Twitter: 7onashoestring
says:
LOVE this! I co-sleep as well. My toddler is 3. Plus, her bed is in our room. As the youngest of 5 I want her to stay “little.” And I tried letting my oldest cry herself to sleep but couldn’t do it.. I have rocked all 5 of my babies. Or my husband would. And I STILL love holding my toddler when she lets me. And mostly, I adore that you are open, honest, and real. I think parenting is “tough love” by so many standards and we each need to do it as we see fit for our child. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone… and reminding me to cherish it.
Staci´s last [type] ..5 Favorite Chick Flicks for Valentine’s Day
Twitter: ciaofromtexas
says:
Enjoy every single snuggly minute!
Tracey´s last [type] ..DIY Cleaners – Window Cleaner vs. Windex
I think the beauty of being a Mom is that we can chose to be the exact kind of Mom that we want to be. If that is a Mom who holds their little one all day, co sleeps and rocks them to sleep then that is perfect for you and you little one no matter what you did last time or what anyone else does. I love reading about just how much you love your little ones, it really comes through in your writing! Keep up the great work Momma
Twitter: giggleglitzglam
says:
I think it’s a girl thing for real! I did all these things with Emily and refused to let her “cry it out”. I am just now at a place where I will let her scream herself to sleep and its usually just because I’m losing patience. I rocked her until she was about 6 months old and then she wouldn’t let me anymore and it kind of broke my heart. So I say enjoy the heck out of those cuddles and the co-sleeping because one day she won’t let you.
Jana´s last [type] ..The Momma Group
Yep, probably not going to change. My baby is three and I still treat him like a baby, and let him get away with things that I would have never done for his older brothers. I’m just older and wiser now and more patient, and more realistic about what matters and what doesn’t. I don’t regret how I parented my older boys-that was right for them and me at that time. But, I don’t regret how I am parenting my little one, either-it’s right for us at this time in our life too.:)
Jessica´s last [type] ..John’s Pizzeria, New York City
Twitter: thenerdswife
says:
Everything you wrote is exactly how I feel about my Little Man. I can’t stand to hear him cry. Even now that he’s 14 months old, he will still walk up to me when I’m sitting on the couch, cry and fuss and try to climb in my lap, and I drop everything to hold him. I love this honest, thoughtful post! You are a great mom!
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Twitter: MeaganMusing
says:
You’re not alone mama! I’ve tried to let Caroline cry and we make it to about 10 minutes every time. Although I do think I’ve slept through her once or twice – but she’s 17 months old and still wakes up to nurse at least once almost every night. I keep telling myself there’s no way she’ll still be doing this when she’s three! And I’ll sleep eventually. Ha! Thanks for sharing your way of doing things.
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Twitter: challengememama
says:
Oh my gosh, I was thinking how different I treated my boy and girl…There’s just something about her crying I can’t handle! However, we shouldn’t feel bad how we handle our kids, right? I know it’s not the “right” way, but mama knows right. Good for you! She’s adorable. How could you say no!?!
Twitter: carrieelleblog
says:
Same here! I still nurse my 18-month old to sleep – who I co-sleep with. It’s safe to say most of my friends think I’m crazy and wouldn’t dream of such a thing with their own children! But…I treated my oldest the same (he’s 4) and he is turning out just fine. :) I just tell myself that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing – all that matters is that I’ve parented my children in a way that makes me, and my kids, feel good.
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Twitter: effortlessmom
says:
Awww she’s precious! I am somewhat new to motherhood and I honestly am surprised at how different every parent is. It’s interesting to see in your post that it’s different for each child, too! I cosleep and I was shocked at some of the negative feedback I got. I didn’t event think people had an issue with it! I say your kid, your choice. I’m sure Brantley is loving all the snuggles!
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Twitter: AmyLNorton
says:
Do what works for you, girl. I cosleep, babywear, nurse on demand (and he demands every 1.5 to 2 hours, lol), and hold Cam all. the. time.
You are not alone!
Amy´s last [type] ..Better Than A Box eCookbook
We AP as well. Nothing wrong with no tough loving, it’s the original approach to motherhood.
Kristina´s last [type] ..It’s What’s on the Inside That Counts
Twitter: DukesnDuchesses
says:
I think you should savor it, especially because you think she’ll be your last. I’ve never done co-sleeping but I think moms need to be less judgmental of each other and do what works for them … and for the rest of the family. Enjoy that sweet baby!
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Twitter: natashahanson
says:
We co-sleep, too! Arlo is our first, so I don’t know if I just have the first-time mom jitters.. but I don’t see him sleeping in his room in the near future. At all. He has never slept the night anywhere else except between my husband and I. Arlo had a rough start in the world (planned homebirth – but unplanned newborn in distress! yikes!) and he had a terrible time breathing for the first few minutes of his life. Those few minutes still haunt me. I can still see our midwife breathing air into him because he had too much fluid in his lungs to do it on his own. UGH! That fear is why he initially slept with us. We had ever intention of moving him to his room. We tried one night when he was a few weeks old, and it absolutely killed me. So we haven’t tried since. Ha! I think we turned out to be more for the whole “attachment parenting” thing than we bargained for. But.. I like it.
Natasha´s last [type] ..New pretties.