I Don’t Do It All

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I just can’t.

But, it amazes me a little when people say, “Man, Jamie, I don’t know how you do it all.”

It stops me in my tracks a little bit and makes me wonder, “What am I doing that makes people think I get it all done?”  Because truthfully, I’m usually just happy when no one is hungry and everyone smells ok. :)

I really don’t do it all.

I don’t buy new clothes for my little kids, just our big kids.  Hand me downs, consignment stores and sales have gotten us by with no problem.

I don’t meal plan, although I really wish I did.  It just stresses me out to think I have to actually stick to what I planned.  I may plan that night’s meal in the morning, but that’s not an everyday thing.  I need to be better about this.

I also don’t clean my house or do laundry every single day.  I pick up and straighten up everyday but that’s only because if I didn’t we might break an ankle or lose one of our children in the toys that get drug out of their baskets and cover every square inch of the floor.

I do, however, have this little problem.

I WANT to do it all.

I like the challenge of a full calendar and busy week ahead.

I like being out and about with my kids, going here and there.  I think life is all about experiences and I want my kids to have experiences they will always remember.

…even if it is just a lunch date with mommy at Cici’s Pizza.

Truthfully, I just like being with my kids.  But I struggle with other thoughts, too.

Just recently, I had this conversation with my mom about helping Jeff with our family income.

Our financial situation is less than great right now.  We will get through it, but it’s been tough.

I want to help him.

I want to help us.

I question myself at least once a week about giving up the whole stay at home mom thing and going to work.  I hate feeling like I could be doing more, and if I was doing more, we wouldn’t be in such a tough spot.  And this is where my problem comes in.

I want to do it all.

As a girl who couldn’t wait to get a job at 15 and then had a full-time job and two part-time jobs right out of college, I like to earn money.  I like to work.  I wish I could help more to provide for our family.

I told my mom I’d been praying for a while asking for God to show me what I could do to help our family and I still just don’t know.

My mom said, “Did you ever think maybe you’re not getting an answer because you’re doing just what you’re supposed to be doing?”

Well, no, but maybe she’s right.

Maybe I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing….

….even though I’m not doing it all.


Linking up here.Visit Jamie Roubinek’s profile on Pinterest.

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  1. Found your blog from the Desire to Inspire link up. I totally understand where you’re coming from. My desire to get a job though is more about fear of failing as a stay at home mom. Don’t really know where that came from but it did. I’m trying to learn how to give it to the Lord and have joy in my heart staying home. It’s so funny how the enemy tries to make us feel guilty for being exactly where God has us and doing exactly what He has for us for right now! Thank you for posting this it definitely encouraged me in my struggle. :)
    Alys Hejl´s last blog post ..Desire to Inspire Thursdays

  2. No one can do it all!  We are also in a major financial bind right now and I keep thinking I should be working but after struggles and prayers I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be as well.  Now I need to learn to accept that answer!  I hope you find peace in not doing it all.
    Alli´s last blog post ..Induce Labor Naturally [part one]

  3. I can totally relate!!! I’ve struggled with the very same thoughts. Living on one commission based income is incredibly hard :( by teaching preschool & couponing, I’m doing all I can right now. Maybe once my kids are older, I’ll feel more ready for full time work. :)

  4. Meagan
    Twitter: MeaganMusing

    I love this. No one can do it all – well, maybe, but no one I know! Some days it’s  hard to see how important staying at home is, but in the end if you want to be home I think surely it’s worth it. Just remember how important you are to your kiddos! You’re their whole word right now – that’ s a pretty big job right there! 
    Meagan´s last blog post ..First Day of Preschool

  5. Jade =)
    Twitter: heyjade

    Oh, girl, same here. I have had to stop reading blogs and some people’s Facebook posts because it would best me down. I’d try to measure up to them, and I just couldn’t (though, who knows what things are going on behind the scenes at their house yet they only post the positives… Thereby always seeming perfect). Anyway, same boat here… Worst financial struggle we’ve ever been in, wondering what to do, how to make ends meet. It’s hard, but I know this is where I’m called to be… And He ALWAYS provides. I see no alternatives. Going back to work would mean child are costs, which would take my salary anyway, so it’s pointless. When I feel like I’m not doing my part to contribute financially, my husband reminds me of who keeps the house from falling apart completely, or keeps the kids from killing each other… It’s me. That IS my contribution. It’s the best one of all.
    Jade =)´s last blog post ..Homeschool Recap, August 31st (Week 7)…

  6. Hey Jamie! I’m so glad you linked up! And what a wise, wise mama you have! I totally understand wanting to do it all, but I. like you, just can’t. Confession: sometimes I just give up all together and take a nap. *wink* 

    Praying for you and your finances right now.
    Amanda {at} Royal Daughter Designs´s last blog post ..Desire to Inspire #1: I have a purpose.

  7. I know sometimes it’s hard, but trust me it’s worth it! Every moment with your kids is worth it. They are only young once and for a short period of time and it goes by so fast. No amount of money can replace the moments and memories and bonding you are providing your children.  It’s hard in the moment when you wish you could do more, but be sure to tell yourself that you are doing  more right now than is imaginable. You are building the foundation for your children that will be with them for the rest of their lives.  I wasn’t able to stay at home with my oldest, I was a single parent and I had to work, but I am able to stay at home with my youngest and even though it’s tight (child support for 2 plus 2 children at home & myself on DH’s income) it is so worth it. I feel like I missed SO many moments with my oldest. I think it helps to focus on the positive, come to peace with things are tight now, but it they won’t be forever, your job as a stay as a home mom is important, everyone adjusts to change including having to cut back sometimes (including all kids who don’t like it, but it’s life and that’s the way it is), and to remember to stop and smell the roses. It is so easy to get caught up in wanting to clean the house and be Donna Reed, however it’s not reality and it can make a stay at home mom miserable. I know it’s easier said than done, but just enjoy every moment and know there are never enough hours in the day and that’s ok. Spending quality time with children is a full time job! My DH’s ex-wife used to ask all the time when I was going to get a job since more children meant less financially for the boys (extras they were used to and expectations to continue getting everything they wanted) and finally my DH said, she has a job raising the kids and it’s a very important one that is worth more than money.  So don’t feel guilty about staying  at home or enjoying it. When your children are in school you can always go back to work, but right  now maybe the job you were meant to do is worth more than money.  Sorry for the long post… :) 

  8. I LOVE this Jamie! Perfectly said! Thank you for putting it so well!
    Jennifer Thomas´s last blog post ..Shared space for a boy and girl

  9. Carrie
    Twitter: carrieelleblog

    I hear ya’!  Except, I’m pretty sure no one thinks I’m doing it all…LOL…you should see how messy my house is.  But still, I am always wishing I was capable of doing more and being more efficient and all that good stuff..  A good day around here means we are all dressed by noon.  And for the record, it’a now 12:13 and one kid is in her pajamas and the other is only wearing his underwear.  :::SIGH:::
    Carrie´s last blog post ..Don’t Call Me Stupid – I’m Doing My Best!

  10. I get lots of comments also and I SURE don’t get it all done.  But I think I’m with you.  Sometimes I’m spending a lot of time and thought and energy and emotion striving for what to do when I’m already doing what I can!  Thanks for this post.
    stacey @ http://www.gettingthroughtheday.com´s last blog post ..Frugal Birthday Party, Part 2

  11. Hello from St. Louie!  Stopping in from SITS.  Your mom sounds like a smart lady!  Have you ever heard of Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, “Do Everything”…I think it goes with what your mom has told you.  The little things you do for your family every day is contributing more than you think.

  12. {Melinda} My “little” ones are 15 and 12 now … and I spent so much time when they were younger worrying about our finances and feeling like I SHOULD be working more (I did some freelance work from home). But, looking back, now that my oldest will soon be leaving the nest, I DON’T regret it. I could have earned a lot more money, but I’m so glad I spent more time with them. I think your mom is very wise.  There will be time later to pursue all those wishes and dreams — they won’t spoil. The time with those young ones is fleeting. Okay, off my soapbox now. Just wanted to encourage you! 
    Mothering From Scratch´s last blog post ..no mom is an island: what community means to us

  13. I don’t meal plan either. I try but it never works out. And I don’t always clean everyday either. I do what I can. So long as my kids are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.
    Amber´s last blog post ..Stung By A Bee

  14. Jamie, what a great post! You know it’s okay if you can’t do it all. *Whispers.* No one can! All you can do is take each day as it comesand try to be the best mom and wife you can be. It sounds like you are doing a good job to me!
    Visiting from SITS Sharefest! :0)
    Michelle Mossey´s last blog post ..Shake Your Money Maker

  15. I think realizing we can’t do it all is the most important first step. We just have to do the best we can, and keep in mind what really matters – not that much when you think about it! Just our health and happiness.
    Bethany´s last blog post ..Best Kindergarten Homeschool Curriculum

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